Friday, October 1, 2010
How to Give Yourself An Eyeball Papercut
First, hold the piece of paper at just the correct angle so the the corner of the paper is aimed at your face.
Next, swing it between two fingers with exact percision
Third, and Fling! right towards your eyeball at a speed so quickly you don't have time to react or even blink.
Lastly, drop the paper, clasp both hands over one eye and smear all your eye makeup into one huge exaggerated mess. Now, when someone comes by to see what the commotion is about, drop your hands away from your face and let the mess do the talking.
The watering form your eye mixed with the mascara, eyeliner, and possibly eyeshadow will have meshed together nicely at this point making it look as if you were given a black eye. You may be given extra sympathy at this point. Take what you can get. You want to delay the actual "what happened," questions from your co-workers as long as possible.
Try to make a mad dash to the bathroom when possible and scour away all the remains of your makeup. Wash out your eye. Repeat to yourself, "I am tougher than the paper." Get a wet paper towel and hold against your eye. Even better, get an ice pack. This will rack up more sympathy points when you explain that you were actually tackled by paper.
And that's how a pro does it. That was my day yesterday. It was so random. Only me. People hesitated to even ask, "How does THAT happen?" I haven't gone to the dr. but I probably shouldn't have. I'm still a bit squinty and I should be wearing an eye patch. Arrgh.
Speaking of...Sofia announced the winner of her contest today!
at 10:03 AM