Wednesday, January 28, 2015

How I Took Down A Monstrous Spider (by myself)

Warning: may contain graphic spidery material not suitable for the squeamish. 

Early this early I had that squinty face going on where everything is not quite yet  in focus yet...I had a long, difficult battle with a gigantic, menacing spider (gulp).

Yeah, that woke up real quick. There he sat. On my bathroom wall. Probably planning and plotting his next move. Do you see this thing? Can you tell how this practically screams for a freak out?

So I did what any spider-fearing girl would do...I moved very stealthy across my bathroom floor (don't want to alert this monster with an sudden moves) and ever so casually grabbed my nearest hair product. 

I doused that spider with my can of hairspray.  He ran. I sprayed. He ran faster. I sprayed until I almost passed out from the fumes. 

Then he dropped to the floor and crumpled into a tiny, lifeless black ball. Ha! Take that you sneaky little sucker!

But no. The moment I claim victory is the moment that heathen rises from the dead, unrolls himself and crawls across my floor like he owns the place. 

Yes, he was coming back for more. So of course I use the remaining half can of hair spray. 

Nope...didn't even slow his roll. 

Time to take out the big guns. And by big guns, I mean extra hold, volumnizing mousse. 

Spider down, spider dow--wait, is he seriously crawling out of his foamy grave? More mousse, more mousse!

So with little more mousse....guess who won this war...BAM!!

How would you describe your spider combat skills?