Tuesday, September 22, 2015

How My Indecisiveness Landed Me in a Ditch

Who here is  indecisive? If you're unsure, raise your hand. I can't make a decision to save my life. Well, sometimes. Or sometimes not.

It was a summer day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. I was bike riding, the wind blowing in my hair. It was a perfect day.



I rode over the bridge and continued onto the bike trail. I started to feel a little courageous.




Then REALLY courageous.
And because my fun wasn't meant to last, up ahead the bike trail split off into two different directions.


Which meant I had two choices. 



But decisions never come easy for me. And I tend to overthink.
Such as, if I go one way.... maybe it will take me in a different direction. And what if its the long way and then I'm too tired to ride back and then it gets dark and I'm stuck out here?


 But if I choose the other way, maybe I'll come across a snake. Because there are snakes out here. And what if it's a rattlesnake and I don't realize until I'm practically running over it and it strikes...
But there could be rattlesnakes going the other way too.



But maybe the trail gets really narrow the other way and someone is riding from the opposite direction and neither of us can decide who should stop and who should go so we collide and fall off the cliff.


But the other way might have a narrow trail too. Who decided to split this trail. And WHY??
So which way is the right way to go?


Which way is the better way?


Eeny Meeny Miny Mo....


No! I can't decide like that! I must make an informed decision. I must...


As my brain is arguing over how to make this difficult yet important decision, I began swerving all over the bike trail as I keep changing my mind.




And that's when I ran into those two wooden posts next to the CLIFF sign, which was smack dab in the middle of those choices.

My bike spun circles. It skidded across the trail (while I was still attached to my bike), and came to a stop in the opposite direction of the cliff, which landed me in a ditch.

My clothes were torn. My legs and arms were bruised and scratched. And behind me I hear laughter. The laughter of my dear husband who comes to a halt beside me and says, "Did you mean to do that?"

Why yes, I did.  And tomorrow I'll be performing same time, same place.

Did I learn to become more decisive from this incident? Nope. The fact that I had to make a decision for not just me, but another person, only added too much stress.

So what did I learn? That I shouldn't ride a bike again. Ever.

What kind of situation has your Indecisiveness landed you in?

Friday, June 19, 2015

I Text Dead People Winner!


Thank you to everyone who made the launch of I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE a success! The winner of the online giveaway for a signed copy of I Text Dead People & swag is..... BROOKS BENJAMIN! Congrats, Brooks! 

And to anyone who's read I Text Dead People already....what do you think will happen in book #2: The Ungrateful Dead? 

Just remember...giving a review of any book you read is always appreciated by the authors 😊


 

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

How I Almost Accidentally Stole a Car

I love looking back on old posts and tweets. Since I can barely remember yesterday, it's like getting a whole box full of new memories. I found an old tweet that reminded me of a real life "duh" moment.

I've actually had a ton of these embarrassing moments in my life and I've learned it's easier to accept this than fight it.

It's just who I am.

So in celebration of my self-acceptance, I share this moment of embarrassment with you. With drawings. Since visuals help to paint the picture. Plus, I can make myself look thinner. Score!

FYI...this is just a reenactment of an actual, totally true incident that was experienced.

It's nighttime. It's dark out.. The sun is gone. There is one moon and approximately two stars in the sky. Which is black, btw. Because it's night.

I leave a store (insert name of store here because I don't remember), and I'm guessing I probably had a lot off serious thoughts running through my mind. Kind of like when you're on auto-pilot while driving and you suddenly wonder how you ended up at home. I was parked in the very front, facing the store windows. So with my serious mind, I casually yet elegantly walk the few feet to my car, a black Prius.





Then I go through these actions while thinking these thoughts:

Open driver side door. Can't believe I left the door unlocked.

Proceed to climb into the drivers seat. Wonder why I suddenly shrunk.


Push the start button and my finger hits the dashboard. Thinking how strange it is that the start button is missing.


That was about the point where the little light bulb went off for me  When I looked around and actually paid attention to where I was and what I was doing.

Where: In someone else's car.
What: attempting to steal someone else's car...?

And not just someone else's car, but a black 4-runner. So yeah, you can see the resemblance here and how this mix-up could've easily happened to anyone.




Of course the moment this realization hit, I did what I always do under pressure---I panicked! I didn't jump out, but instead threw myself out of the vehicle while maintaining my gracefulness.

I then proceed to cautiously and non- guiltily view my surroundings to make sure  nobody was calling the cops for breaking into their car. Or worse... taking proof of this incident on their phone.
 
 

Nope. I was in the clear. So I literally ran one parking spot over to my actual, real car, and fumbled with the locked door. 
After I get into the safety of MY vehicle, I make sure no one is watching me from the store windows.
 
 

Nope. Still good.

I then drove off and learned my lesson to pay better attention and never tried to drive away in someone else's car ever again.



Just kidding!

Although I can say I usually only go so far as trying to pick the lock on cars that look exactly like mine now, before I realize what I'm doing. See, it's an improvement!

There was one other factor to this story that I didn't mention--I wasn't alone. My brother was with me. And he actually got into the passenger seat before we both looked at each other and had that "ah-ha!" moment (after the start button disappeared). So, does that take the embarrassment level down a notch?

And I can prove to you that it really did happen. Because I tweeted about it. And I wouldn't post something untrue, right?


Have you ever tried to almost accidentally steal a car similar to yours?


Tuesday, June 9, 2015

I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE Book Birthday!

Are you getting strange texts from an unknown number?  Does your phone experience abnormal activity when you're near a cemetery? Or maybe your phone battery drains more quickly than it should? If you answered yes, no, or maybe to any of these questions--or if you didn't answer at all--then the only solution is to pick up a copy of I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE.  I don't know how exactly this can help you, I just know that it will.

See? All my problems were solved the minute I received my copy!
Since I would love to share all this happiness with you, I'm doing a giveaway! Win a signed copy of I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE along with an awesome swag pack. You can enter several times--the more entries the better chance you have--and its super easy to do. No need to track all your points--that will all be done for you!

Next Tuesday I will randomly choose a winner and post the winner on here. Good luck!

And if you didn't already know, this book is extra special because it was inspired by actual experiences when I was a teen.  So I was dying to write this--pun intended!




Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Sketchy Art & Cheap Wine


I'm super excited to be participating in the annual East Bay Open Studios event next month for a few reasons.
 
1. Awesome Art
2. Cheap Wine
3. Hanging with creative minds in a Kick-Ass Environment
4. Cheap Wine
5. Meeting new, fantastic peeps
6. Cheap Wine
7. Heaps of Fun. For Real. No two years have ever been exactly the same. Expect the unexpected!
8. Cheap Wine (duh. you should've seen that one coming)
 
Any guesses on which image above is mine?
I'll have copies of my upcoming new book, I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE available (days before the actual release).


And original art of my Sketchy Chics (which will be in retail stores as greeting cards Jan. 2016).
 

Sketchy Chics on Canvas with embellishments

Sketchy Chics Magnets

So, if you're in the area, be sure to stop by! If not, I will post shortly after the event--with lots of pics!


Read about my experience at 2010 Open Studios!
Voodoo Dolls & Pimped Out Carts



Thursday, May 21, 2015

I Text Dead People Countdown


Pssst....guess what? The countdown has officially begun for the release of I Text Dead People!  I thought this day would never get here!



I Text Dead People, the first book in the new Dead Serious series, will be out June 9th. That's less than a month, people!  

If you're in the area, come to the launch party! And yes, there WILL be cake. 

The book release launch info:
June 9th 2015 @7pm
Birdcage Barnes & Noble

If you're not in the area, you can still pick up a copy at any B&N or purchase online. Oh, and be sure to stop by this blog for some fun and giveaways on June 9th!

I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE is still available for pre-order...and for those of you who already have-THANK YOU! 

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

How I Took Down A Monstrous Spider (by myself)



Warning: may contain graphic spidery material not suitable for the squeamish. 

Early this morning...so early I had that squinty face going on where everything is not quite yet  in focus yet...I had a long, difficult battle with a gigantic, menacing spider (gulp).

Yeah, that woke up real quick. There he sat. On my bathroom wall. Probably planning and plotting his next move. Do you see this thing? Can you tell how this practically screams for a freak out?


So I did what any spider-fearing girl would do...I moved very stealthy across my bathroom floor (don't want to alert this monster with an sudden moves) and ever so casually grabbed my nearest hair product. 

I doused that spider with my can of hairspray.  He ran. I sprayed. He ran faster. I sprayed until I almost passed out from the fumes. 

Then he dropped to the floor and crumpled into a tiny, lifeless black ball. Ha! Take that you sneaky little sucker!

But no. The moment I claim victory is the moment that heathen rises from the dead, unrolls himself and crawls across my floor like he owns the place. 

Yes, he was coming back for more. So of course I use the remaining half can of hair spray. 



Nope...didn't even slow his roll. 

Time to take out the big guns. And by big guns, I mean extra hold, volumnizing mousse. 


Spider down, spider dow--wait, is he seriously crawling out of his foamy grave? More mousse, more mousse!


So with little more mousse....guess who won this war...BAM!!

How would you describe your spider combat skills?