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Friday, June 19, 2015

I Text Dead People Winner!

Thank you to everyone who made the launch of I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE a success! The winner of the online giveaway for a signed copy of I Text Dead People & swag is..... BROOKS BENJAMIN! Congrats, Brooks! 

And to anyone who's read I Text Dead People already....what do you think will happen in book #2: The Ungrateful Dead? 

Just remember...giving a review of any book you read is always appreciated by the authors 😊


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

How I Almost Accidentally Stole a Car

I love looking back on old posts and tweets. Since I can barely remember yesterday, it's like getting a whole box full of new memories. I found an old tweet that reminded me of a real life "duh" moment.

I've actually had a ton of these embarrassing moments in my life and I've learned it's easier to accept this than fight it.

It's just who I am.

So in celebration of my self-acceptance, I share this moment of embarrassment with you. With drawings. Since visuals help to paint the picture. Plus, I can make myself look thinner. Score!

FYI...this is just a reenactment of an actual, totally true incident that was experienced.

It's nighttime. It's dark out.. The sun is gone. There is one moon and approximately two stars in the sky. Which is black, btw. Because it's night.

I leave a store (insert name of store here because I don't remember), and I'm guessing I probably had a lot off serious thoughts running through my mind. Kind of like when you're on auto-pilot while driving and you suddenly wonder how you ended up at home. I was parked in the very front, facing the store windows. So with my serious mind, I casually yet elegantly walk the few feet to my car, a black Prius.

Then I go through these actions while thinking these thoughts:

Open driver side door. Can't believe I left the door unlocked.

Proceed to climb into the drivers seat. Wonder why I suddenly shrunk.

Push the start button and my finger hits the dashboard. Thinking how strange it is that the start button is missing.

That was about the point where the little light bulb went off for me  When I looked around and actually paid attention to where I was and what I was doing.

Where: In someone else's car.
What: attempting to steal someone else's car...?

And not just someone else's car, but a black 4-runner. So yeah, you can see the resemblance here and how this mix-up could've easily happened to anyone.

Of course the moment this realization hit, I did what I always do under pressure---I panicked! I didn't jump out, but instead threw myself out of the vehicle while maintaining my gracefulness.

I then proceed to cautiously and non- guiltily view my surroundings to make sure  nobody was calling the cops for breaking into their car. Or worse... taking proof of this incident on their phone.

Nope. I was in the clear. So I literally ran one parking spot over to my actual, real car, and fumbled with the locked door. 
After I get into the safety of MY vehicle, I make sure no one is watching me from the store windows.

Nope. Still good.

I then drove off and learned my lesson to pay better attention and never tried to drive away in someone else's car ever again.

Just kidding!

Although I can say I usually only go so far as trying to pick the lock on cars that look exactly like mine now, before I realize what I'm doing. See, it's an improvement!

There was one other factor to this story that I didn't mention--I wasn't alone. My brother was with me. And he actually got into the passenger seat before we both looked at each other and had that "ah-ha!" moment (after the start button disappeared). So, does that take the embarrassment level down a notch?

And I can prove to you that it really did happen. Because I tweeted about it. And I wouldn't post something untrue, right?

Have you ever tried to almost accidentally steal a car similar to yours?

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


Are you getting strange texts from an unknown number?  Does your phone experience abnormal activity when you're near a cemetery? Or maybe your phone battery drains more quickly than it should? If you answered yes, no, or maybe to any of these questions--or if you didn't answer at all--then the only solution is to pick up a copy of I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE.  I don't know how exactly this can help you, I just know that it will.

See? All my problems were solved the minute I received my copy!
Since I would love to share all this happiness with you, I'm doing a giveaway! Win a signed copy of I TEXT DEAD PEOPLE along with an awesome swag pack. You can enter several times--the more entries the better chance you have--and its super easy to do. No need to track all your points--that will all be done for you!

Next Tuesday I will randomly choose a winner and post the winner on here. Good luck!

And if you didn't already know, this book is extra special because it was inspired by actual experiences when I was a teen.  So I was dying to write this--pun intended!