Dirty Umbrellas Manage Bakery

This weeks topic is Revisions. I think it's only appropriate since my deadline for revisions is a week from today. So, how about some fun? I need to think of an acronym for my characters project in this book. Sofia is 11yrs old and she's doing a pet exchange with other students. The theme for the book is a foreign exchange student, so that word can be used too. Originally, I called it The Foreign Pet Exchange Program. But TFPEP doesn't seem funny.  Here are some ideas that Amie and I brainstormed:

TAPE -Totally Awesome Pet Exchange (TAPE Program)

FACE - Foreign Animal Coolness exchange
FAT- Foreign Animal Trade
CAFE- Cool Animal Foreign Exchange
APE- Animal Pet Exchange (She could say "the Super Cool APE")
FARTY-Foreign Animal Regional Trade, Yeah!

What ideas do you have?

PS-in case you didn't notice, yes, my blog title is DUMB.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out Kid!

Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving! Now's the time everything becomes Christmassy (is that a word?)

So, I've been working on revisions for RUMORS FROM THE BOYS' ROOM, A Blogtastic! Novel. And because my deadline is short, I'm having to put everything else on hold for a bit. Including blogging.

Since I'm closer to being finished now so I get a little bit of breathing room. Next weeks posting theme will be revisions. I'm always learning something new with this!  Until then, I leave you with this:

What is your favorite holiday movie quotes of all time? Here's mine:



"He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny."

"He does not!"

"He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!"



"Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian."

Turkey Smuggler

This week i'll be adding holiday note cards with matching evenvelopes to my Etsy Shop. Included will be a Zombie Christmas, a reindeer who gets laughed at (Rudolph? Is that you?), a christmas snail, and an uber happy elf.

10% of all purchases from my Etsy Shop will still be donated to Joy 2 The World until the end of this month!

I've added a poll (Yay! Polls are F-U-N!) at the top of my right side bar for input on what YOU (yes, I"m talking to you!) would like to see on holiday cards in my shop. Just because.

What? Who is this stranger? Definitely not a turkey! Turkeys don't wear
glasses or trench coats. And they clearly don't have big noses or facial hair.
Yes! This non-turkey stranger will indeed be featured on a holiday card too!


 





Don't answer me--I already know!

So last night I had this conversation (kind of) with my 12-year-old son:

(son at computer typing up homework assignment)

SON: Hey, how do you spell “Table of Contents?”

ME: T-A-B-L---

SON: MOM! I know!

ME: C-O-N-T

SON: MOM! I was the spelling bee champ!

ME: ..E-N-T----

SON: Stop spelling! I was the spelling bee champ! I know how to spell!!

ME: *scratches head* But you ASKED me…

SON: *looks at me with confused face* What?

ME: Hey, what time is it?

SON: It's...7:54pm

ME:

Sigh. Kids. What would we do without them? You know, besides having normal conversations.

What kind of scratch-your-head moments have you had lately?
 

Big Mouth News

Harold was glad
As he sat on his pad
Wanting to help spread the word

That someone you know
Will host a radio show
Isn’t that just crazy absurd?


Okay, okay, you guessed it. I'm that "someone."  I'll be hosting an online radio show dedicated to art. It will air the 4th Monday of every month and I'll be interviewing all kinds of artists, illustrators, cartoonists, etc. I'm super excited! You'll even notice I added the radio show to the sidebar on my blog. So...if anyone is an artist and would love to be interviewed, contact me and we'll set something up!

Empty Head Syndrome

Sometimes my brain feels like mush, overloaded with ideas and overwhelmed with everything else. But today, not so much. Today I suffer from empty headedness (I declare this an actual word!).  So instead of fighting against it, I'll go along with it.

Now, to take some of the useful knowledge i've learned lately and stuff back in...

Stuff such as:

1. When you contact bookstores to set up events or author signings, ALWAYS give them your ISBN first. Otherwise, they're likely not to read past the first few lines of your email, let alone respond to you.

2. While both are large chain bookstores, Borders works very differently than Barnes and Noble. For instance, B&N likes to set up author events with the author while Borders sets everything up through their corporate offices.

3. Excedrin should not be taken at night for headaches. Otherwise, you're likely to be kept up all night long for at least three days wondering why until you finally realize it's packed with caffeine.
4. Insecurities never diminish. Not even with a book contract.

5. Pumkin Muffins from Panera rock!

What info has been overloading your brain lately?

 P.S.-Today's Writing Tip:  Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Longest Name in the World. Ever.

As writers, don't we hope to someday be recognized by our names? What if your name was so....unique, that  it was the very reason you stood out?

A long time ago, in a yearbook far far away … there was a little boy by the name of
 Knight whose parents must've been really big Star Wars fans.
 So big that they named their boy… Jed I. Knight

Beware Asian thieves and crooks: Batman, son of Superman, lives in Singapore and is
 ready to kick your butt anytime. Ok, being named after both superheroes could be a
 little too much, but hey, Asian streets are tougher.

Who would ever go to dentist called Just-in-Pain? Okay, I would. It would be so funny!

 New Zealand judge ordered a name change for this embarrassed nine-year-old girl
 called 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.' The girl was so mortified that she had
 not revealed the name given by her parents to friends, who simply knew her as K.

You could seriously say your cab driver was An Ass!



Jennifer 8. Lee, journalist, was not given a middle name at birth,
so she chose "8." as a teenager. For many Chinese, the number
eight symbolizes prosperity and good luck.  I think I might change
my name to Rose Number 1 Cooper!



The coolest and most modern name. Ever.

A teenager - formerly George Garratt - claimed to have the longest name
 in the world after changing his name to:
 Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.

I always had a fear of marrying someone with the last name Bush. Or Garden. Or Bud.  So, what would you change your name to?

HAHAHA

Remember when I posted this video? THIS is the number one searched thing that leads people to my site. Under my stats under search words, this is what's listed:

1. hide your women hide your children
2. hide your children video (maybe angry parents are googling this?)
3. hide your children hide your wife youtube
4. zombie bride (hey, look! My art doll was actually good enough to be included in this bunch!)
5. hide your wife hide your children costume (um, does this mean  you would go as a...garbage can or a kitchen sink? maybe a closet??)
6. funny hide the children vidio (um, really?)

So, I decided it's time for another video. If you haven't seen this before, you will die laughing. If you have seen before, you will still laugh. I've watched it like, what? Ten times already? Yeah. Make sure your volume is turned up!

Stress is for the Wimpy Kid!

There's so much more to publishing a book than...well, publishing. And the best way to learn it is to experience it, or to live vicariously through someone else. I admit, I totally blog stalk other authors who have gone or are going through this now so I can see what's to come. But really, it's so different when it's actually your turn.

You're probably asking, like what?

1. A Blog Tour. I just realized how many authors do this. This is a great way to get your book out there and promote. I've been seeing writers do this anywhere from 1-2 months before their book release date. For anyone who's unsure of what this is, a blog tour is basically a virtual book tour, set up on several blogs. For example, see Tamara Heiner's Blog which outlines her blog tour. She's the author of a fabulous looking book called Perilous (you can read the first page on her blog!).

2. Set up book signings/author events. There's already one bookstore who's requested to add me to their calendar in Janaury for an author event and later today i'm meeting with the GM at Borders to try and set something up. Most places are booked through mid January already.

3. Book Release Party. Like a little girl imagining her wedding day, i've always imagined my book release day. But now i'm like, wait...it's nearly two months away and I haven't planned anything! Two months in book time is next to nothing. I need a venue and I need to do it on a budget. I'm going to invite everyone in the world. Well, almost.  BTW, you know you're super-famous when you have book release parties in every city and you don't even have to be there! (Yes, I'm talking about you, Diary of a Wimpy Kid and your 5 million first print run).

So six months ago I was worrying about doing things too early. Now i'm worrying about not doing things soon enough. But worrying and stressing are going to take the fun out of it and I can't let that happen. I won't!

So...how many of you have had/been to book release parties and/or book signings? Any good ideas or suggestions you can pass along?